Then our sensei gave the first sentence, and we should continue the sentence one by one in Japanese. It was fun, and then she said.. Ok, now.. The next sentence...” If I have a time machine,........” then we all quiet and nobody answer. It had a long pause until I said.. Well, I will go to my future and see how I look like in the future. To see who will be my husband, children, where I will go to work, I have lots of money or not, where is my house. And the sensei said, in how long for now? Then I said that I want to know what happen in 10 years later. Then the other student start to continued..
Actually it was not my true answer. I don’t want to go to the future. I answer it because it was the easy answer that all the people could ever think about... but, for sure...
When sensei said “if I have a time machine,” I want to continue with: “Then I will to go to the past”.
I want to meet myself in the past, the moment when I cannot stand up by myself because I don’t have a confidence to stand up. The time when I feel to be the most useless person who walk in this earth just because I feel different with everybody. Because I like what everybody don’t like. I have a different interest with all of my friends. And I don’t have a great score when everybody could get it really easily. Why should I need the people to teach me about most of the subjects in my own major every night before exam? Why I can’t learn it alone, by myself? Why I don’t like physics or calculus when most of the students make them as their favorite subjects? Why I don’t have a big interest with my own major even though I have already tried hard to like it? Why I am not as smart as the other people who walk in the same road with me? Why I am green when everybody is red? Why is God put me here?
That is why, I want to be there and said to myself that everything will going to be alright and you didn’t need time to be sad. I want to said that don’t worry for the future, as long as you already did the best that you could, everything will going to be just fine. You are special for just being you; that no matter you walked in different road with another people, as long as you believe it is good, then you should keep going. Do not worry for being green when everybody is red. Just keep trying until you find what you are looking for and keep fight for that dream. You will have a good future and what you have done now is already great, so don’t you worry, please don’t worry..
It is all I going to do, just that and I will go back to the present. I just want to fix myself in the past...
If we talk about time machine, I have read someone quote that said: “if I could back to the past, then I will meet all the people who are hurt because of me and undo what I already did to them, so that they will not hurt anymore because of me.”
What a really nice thought I think. What a really good person he is. He wants to fix people’s heart, when I want to fix my own heart..
Life is actually about time. God gives us everything that we need. It is like, human could control everything, but not with time. Time only have 1 way to work, it is always move forward... no matter how hard your life could be, time will always move forward.. We only have 2 choices: stay in the same place ,cry for what we’ve missing, and nothing change, or move on.... because what is already gone, will gone forever... what we’ve already missed, will lost forever.. we could not change what we already said or did... we could not fixed perfectly what is already broke, because no matter how hard we try to fix it, it always have a crack in some way.. It is never be the same like what it was before... and it is work perfectly the same with human heart...
So, how about you... “If you have one chance to use a time machine, go and then come back what will you do, my friend? Where will you go?” :)
Kumamoto-Japan (December 24th, 2011, 23:06)
